Thursday, March 31, 2005
Yea, thats true. You keep thinking the past was good and you keep wishing that you could return to those days. Yet at that point of time, you didn't feel exactly happy or contented with what you had. Its just that looking back, you feel that your life then was much better than your life now. I suppose thats life. We grow up, we move on. The days of life change us because of the new experiences we pick up. Its also kind of true that you don't know how to cherish something until you lose it. Sometimes we never know how much a certain thing means to us till its gone forever. I think I still haven't fully learnt how to appreciate what I have. But I guess each day on our journey on the road of life, we learn to appreciate something, however small.
I wonder. What is the first memory of their life that people have? Is it a traumatic experience? Mine was.
May
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Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Yeah, I guess people do forget memories, even those that seem to have made such a lasting impression sort of just fade away in time. But i suppose if you really treasure those memories, and you keep recalling them, they wouldn't leave you. although at times, i think our memories may differ somewhat from what actually happened. like it becomes a slightly altered version 'cos some things leave a deeper impression than others. say, when i think about primary school, i think of happy and carefree times. the truth is, primary school must have had it's fair share of worries and unhappiness too... it may not seem like much in retrospect but to a 7 yr old, being late for school is a biggie... but when i look back, it's happy times to me. Why? Maybe it's cos we have a natural tendency to look back and think, "Wow, I wish life now was as good as then.." so what we have an 'altered' version of event, but it doesnt make them any less real and true to us.
slug
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I guess you won't know why you dream those stuff. after all, if our dreams are still a mystery to researchers, i don't see how we can actually figure out what goes on in our mind when we sleep. haha.
Keep having random thoughts these days and somehow, it seems weird somehow. I think i've lost alot of good memories from my childhood years, and its kind of sad. You know those moments that lyd mentioned? those that you long for after they end, those that you wish you could hang on to forever? well, i think i've forgotten many of them, and i'm kind of sad over their loss. do people forget these moments?
yea, so i've been slacking at home and spending time brooding over stuff like this. haven't touched anything since maths test last term. haha.somehow can't bring myself to start mugging. i'm such a lazy person.
Never underestimate the power of prayer. It works wonders.
May
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Sunday, March 27, 2005
Speaking of dreams, I had a weird one last night. In my dream, our family was having dinner with the PM. Haha weird huh? Then I dreamt about sailing... The funny thing is that I wasn't thinking about sailing before I slept, and I definitely wasn't thinking about the PM! Haha. My strange, strange mind.
I've been slacking full-time these past 2 weeks and I'll probably have to pay for all that slacking soon. It's back to dreary school tomorrow. At least first block is taken up by civics.... Haha. Got to get back to the routine of actual school now. Hopefully I'll just take one week to get myself back on track :)
The past few days have been good for me. Feeling generally happy, contented, blessed, appreciative for my lot.
Slug
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Saturday, March 26, 2005
Neither can I. But its got nothing to do with growing older. its just the way it is. you remember a little of your dream when you first wake up. then as the day progresses, you forget most of it, or only remember the significant parts. someone once told me that if someone were to wake you up in the middle of your dream, you'd be able to tell the person exact details of the dream in your subconsious state. whatever.
have been reading books during my free time recently. when i start reading a highly exciting book, i'm always tempted to read the back first, but everytime i do that, it sort of spoils the story for me. *shrugs* so now i just read the whole thing at one go.
i have a feeling the template is going to remain like this for quite sometime. maybe forever. cos i'm too lazy to change it. ruth is lonely in the sidebar cos of that too. also, being cut off from the blogging world for about 8 months means i don't keep track of changes in ppl's blog add so i can't add more ppl. if you happen to land on this blog, kindly leave a tag with your url so i can link you...when i have the time. i plan to organise links according to "409ians '04", "lyd's links", "maryann's links", "yiiwen's links", and "may's links". thats IF i get down to doing it. someone, please bug me to do it.
May
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Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Happy Birthday Yiiwen!
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Sunday, March 20, 2005
I used to dream a lot too.. I still do actually. But nowadays I can't seem to remember what I dreamt about haha. I wonder why... getting older perhaps? Haha. Oh I know what you can do if you want to dream less, you could try sleeping later 'cos then you'll be so tired that maybe you'll just sleep right through the entire night. Or try not to think of anything just before you sleep. Like clear your mind... pray?
Yep. Everyday blessings we should be thankful for.
Slug
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Saturday, March 19, 2005
True...sometimes its the little little things in life that you seem to remember, the seemingly unimportant stuff. Just like its the little things in life that can bring you joy. Of course, there are big stuff that we feel happy about too, but then, how often does big stuff happen? Its amazing how certain little things can make you feel happy. Like how i feel when i find out that i've grown taller, by however little. haha. or when i'm about to go out/meet up with a group of very good friends. Sometimes we experience joy and happiness through simple things.
Poke day was quite interesting. Pity i didn't get to try out saber though. would have liked to. but it doesn't really make a diff. i've already decided which weapon group to join from a long time back. yiiwen: for all practical reasons you should join epee. but i suppose you should try out saber when poke day 2 comes along and pick the weapon that you enjoy fencing with the most. afterall, with interest, i'm sure you'll be able to excel in whichever blade you end up choosing. the choice lies with you, really.
"Dreams are the touchstones of our character."
Dreams are the workings of our subconscious mind. Somehow, whatever we're afraid of sort of manifests itself in our dreams. Or whatever thats on our mind before we sleep. And our dreams are mostly ridiculous--they'll never happen in real life. The round of horrible PT we had on wed triggered off weird fitness related dreams for me. I dreamt that I had to run 2.4 and couldn't run at all. i suspect that was because i had no idea how i was going to run for warm ups on fri, the dream being on thurs night. ok, i'm weird. But i'm STILL aching from PT. woes of the unfit. Sometimes i wonder if we're still getting enough rest when we dream. I mean, technically, the mind has to work for us to dream. so does that mean we don't rest our minds? I'd rather have a good nights sleep without dreams in that case.
May
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Friday, March 18, 2005
hm. poke day no.1 is over and done with, and i'm still no wiser as to which weapon to choose. somebody tell me?
yii wen
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Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Thank you.
I think we constantly make decisions about how truthful we want to be. I think it's only human.
Cool. I told snail before that I wished I could join the bridge sessions! If only it was more convenient :( then i can play more often and mich ong, the pro, can help raise my standard to some decency at least. haha.
Only sailed the laser for 1h and it wasn't too good. At least on the bright side, the only way I can go is up. I still remember the person who told me that when I was 11... it's amazing how much we learn when we look back. Seemingly unimportant conversations stick with you for years.
We keep learning what life is all about.
"Yes, Clarissa thinks, it's time for the day to be over. We throw our parties; we abandon our families to live alone in Canada; we struggle to write books that do not change the world, despite our gifts and our unstinting efforts, our most extravagant hopes. We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep- it's as simple and ordinary as that. A few jump out of windows, or drown themselves or take pills; more die by accident; and most of us, the vast majority, are slowly devoured by some disease or, if we're very fortunate, by time itself. There's just this for consolation: an hour here or there when our lives seem, against all odds and expectations, to burst open and give us everything we've ever imagined, though everyone but children (and perhaps even they) knows these hours will inevitably be followed by others, far darker and more difficult. Still, we cherish the city, the morning; we hope, more than anything, for more.
Heaven only knows why we love it so." -The Hours, Michael Cunningham
Have you experienced such moments before? The kind which leaves behind a bitter-sweet feeling, a longing, even when it's long over? The kind which makes you believe that life is good after all? And you're overwhelmed with gratitude for being given a go at this ride- called life?
Slug
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Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Still trying to absorb whatever yiiwen and lyd wrote in their last posts. You know, that was one of the reasons why i shut down my blog last year. I was blogging about superficial stuff, and I didn't exactly "exhibit" any of my deep thoughts. It got kind of pointless after a while, and useless to upkeep. *shrugs* But yes, i don't think everyone's totally truthful in whatever they blog about. I don't think its possible to be, but maybe thats too absolute. I really have no idea.
Had a bridge session yesterday with Maryann, Mich ong and Sheeyin that just confirmed whatever i wrote about making decisions that change our lives. The 4 of us weren't exactly close throughout our time in 409. But it seems strange that the decisions that we made in the split of time on that day in east coast seems to have done so much to our friendship, and altered our lives in a way we never foresaw. If we didn't stay till so late playing bridge, we wouldn't have got down to arranging the subsequent bridge sessions that followed, or gotten to know each other so well through those sessions. Thats amazing right?
I hope the answer to my question will always be a yes too. And if you were to ask me the same question, it'll also be a yes.
May
ps: i just looked back to my previous post and found it stupid. which just proves my point in there. or maybe thats just me.
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Monday, March 14, 2005
quick post..
Don't actually feel any urge to update but been 'forced' to. I've thought about the purpose of a blog many times before but I still don't know why people bother to. Perhaps we're trying in some way to leave a mark on the world? I guess you're right in saying it's 'fictionalised truth'.. it is definitely not the whole, uncensored version of truth. Yet isnt many aspects of our lives also 'fictionalised truth'. like situations where tact outweighs honesty, the white lies, the many fascades we put on to face the world some times.
I think that honesty in relationships is too over-rated, trust, on the other hand, is far far too under-rated.
And may, the answer to your question is yes. I hope it'll always be a yes.
slug's late for dinner. bah.
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Sunday, March 13, 2005
hello people again :)
been thinking about the concept of blogs and their purposes...why exactly do people blog about their lives to the entire world? what is the point of exhibiting your thoughts? but not all people who blog are exhibitionists. or are we all too caught up in the novelty of an online diary? hm..maybe its liberating to tell all to people you don't really know. i really should go get a personal blog one day to find out....
have realised tt it takes effort to keep up a 'good' blog. i mean, you cant just write about anything you fancy or anything that happens to you like you would do in a normal diary. that's cos people are actually reading your blog and if they happen to know you personally, well, then you would prob like to select what stuff to blog to sustain their interest and to avoid embarrassing yourself or anyone else. in that case, i dont suppose any blog can be totally truthful. there will always be subjects which are not suitable to bring up on a blog, no matter how forthright you are as a person. so maybe its more accurate to call blogs 'fictionalised truth'. makes one wonder, ya?
yii wen
p.s. how many people actually read this thing, anyway?
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Feeling super bored at home but nevermind... tml theres a bridge session! haha.
I just realised today that I turn 17 on the 17th of May this year. And i wouldn't have realised it if my sister didn't point it out. Sigh... i'm such a loser.
I don't think i talk about profound stuff, maryann. Sometimes i look back on what i write and find it kinda unbelievable i actually wrote those stuff. Its just like reading the messages in your sent items folder in your hp. somehow, when you're typing it/writing it, it doesn't seem so weird. then you go back and read it and find it weird that its actually YOU who wrote that. haha. another random thought. i am seriously going crazy with boredom.
May
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Saturday, March 12, 2005
hi all...
since may asked me to blog....i shall post my second note here...haha.
hmm...the one wk hol is here...so watcha gonna do? yea, i'm meeting may and mich and sy to play bridge on mon! :)
Read the past few posts by lyd and may and feel tt they r rather profound...with really random stuff...haha, and i realised yii wen rarely post too...
erm, got nth much to write...just posting nonsense :) but hope u all can enjoy yr hols!
maryann
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Happy birthday ruth! and we'll give you your bday present late....though you don't deserve it seeing that you're quitting fencing and abandoning me again.
"One of the wonderful things about life is you have the chance to write the script, be the director and star in your own epic."
I wonder if everyone do stuff they regret. Do you look back sometimes and wonder what if you had done something else? It seems like that one thing you do, that decision you make, triggers off this whole load of events. And affects your life, even though it might be in a small way. I suppose, everything happens for a reason and we have yet to find out what that reason is. life is full of "what if's" but i guess we shouldn't dwell over it, cos it doesn't change the way stuff works. ok wait, i'm confusing myself. Nevermind. This is really a random thought.
May
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Friday, March 11, 2005
blogging yet again. its the last day of school...finally. slacking around cos i don't feel like doing anything. had so many hours of break today. our gp teacher rocks. we figured we got like 2 minutes of gp lesson this week in total. we were supposed to spend the entire 1.5 hours of gp in the library checking up vocab on this article. i am so going to pass my gp when it comes to the time i need to sit for any exam... civics also got cancelld. then so did pe. so in total, my class had like about 4 hours of break today. i think we're like the class with the most free blocks around. and we keep getting let off early. haha.
just spent the entire supposed lunch break talking crap in the class with 5 other classmates. realised that its probably better to be a guy than to be a girl, since all the guys there said they'd still want to be guys if given the chance to choose. and alot of girls feel that its better to be a guy. see! the world's unfair. nevermind. shall not delve deeper into this complex issue.
haha. right now i have no idea if i'll still stay in my present class. i might be transferred out cos i don't take chi. junli's taking chi so she won't change class. but i guess i'll leave it up to god to decide whether i stay or not. after all, everything happens for a reason.
wonder if i'm currently going through another bout of having super low self esteem. ok, this is bad. i should stop whining so much.
will probably be ponning fencing for the very first time today due to the fact that i cleverly sprained my ankle sprinting for warm ups on wednesday. sigh. ruth's quitting fencing, stupid girl. cos the PEARLS thing is gone now. so she says she shldn't bother anymore. tsk tsk.
ach. this post is so depressing. i'm sorry. really.
May
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yay! unexpected piece of happiness in an otherwise deary and dull school day: PE was cancelled! :) so me has an extra hour of time to kill now in the library...
shall recount my experiences in the past week or so as i havent been bloging regularly...oops.
i think its really strange how sometimes things just dont hit you until youre in the middle of them. day 3 of the whole jae thing was really blah cos there was much discussion abt whos going and whos staying tt day. ive neva really thought abt parting ways with my classmates before the entire jae thing came abt. i noe its stupid but i took for a given tt we would be staying together for the next 2 years, and now it turns out tt 8 pple from my class are confirmed leaving....i dont really know how im supposed to feel abt this. 2 months+ isnt really long enough for you to be all sappy over having to part ways, but it isnt short enough to treat each other with mechanical coldness either. it feels as though youre in some kind of limbo, waiting for a change in your life and a confirmation of your future. so until next next wednesday...
yii wen
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Thursday, March 10, 2005
You're a Caramel!! You are known for your
sweetness. You are comfortable with yourself,
and help others feel the same way about
themselves. You are generally friendly to
everyone, and believe in second chances.
Which kind of candy are you?
I think Utt and Keegan are both reasonably cute :D And I have to admit that Chase has quite a number of good-looking people. Even Ut's character's mum's bf was cute.
Slug
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How come no ones posting? I just got a one hour break cos my wonderful gp teacher is sick....but not like we do productive stuff during lessons. sigh. bored.
just read an article in the newspaper yesterday that laughter is good for the heart. i'm like getting daily doses of laughter from all my crazy friends around me... so i shouldn't have to worry about having heart trouble when i grow old yes? anybody who needs laughter shld just go talk to ruth. shes damn funny...even when she doesn't mean to be. yiiwen and i nearly died of laughter yesterday listening to her tell us how she did some really stupid things. why do i have such amusing friends?
freezing cold in the library now. everyones preparing for the arrival of some princess from brunei, so the school is like overflowing with plants for a change. i wonder how many potted plants they had to buy to make the school look more green.
have till 4 to kill. maybe i'll sneak to the kcove to play bridge later.
May
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Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Yes! We live in a weird world, and do weird stuff. Sometimes stuff comes out of my mouth and I'm like whoops, did i just say that? somehow, its kind of hard to believe that sentence came from me. whenever that happes, i catch myself thinking -- am i really me? sometimes i wonder, why am i me? is that morbid?
lydia! this is all your fault. now you've started me thinking about all this weird stuff again. just read an email from mich ong to our yahoogroups, which reminded me that we've yet to confirm bridge sessions. haha. looking forward to playing bridge again...
ach. have to go now. maths lecture. bleah...
May
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Monday, March 07, 2005
It's a crazy world we live in.
Sometimes the things I do can be so stupid that I wonder whether it's really me doing it.
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Saturday, March 05, 2005
Hello! Here to blog yet again. Searching for pictures to use as our blog template...and all the pictures of cookies look so yummy its making me hungry, even though I just ate dinner. Whoops. By the way, midnight cookies is actually an ice cream flavour. :)
Still aching from Wednesday's fencing pt. And we had pt again yesterday. stupid coach made us sprint again. thankfully it was only one round. I can look forward to being super fit, thats if the pt doesn't kill me first. there was supposed to be some kind of competition today, but it got postponed till april. crap...should have gone out earlier yesterday instead of waiting till 2.15. sigh. but yiiwen and i achieved what we went out for --bought mavis her bday present. though technically speaking, its only for me and yiiwen, since we're the only ones who paid for it. haha... the rest of you...pay up!
I have nothing else to write. and i though i had alot of stuff to blog about here. funny, isn't it? its like at times you have alot of stuff going through your head, then later when it comes to putting stuff down, you forgot what you wanted to say. that happens to me alot of times. so i just stare at the computer screen for ages before typing like ONE sentence. maybe i'm just growing old at an alarming rate. *shrugs*
ok nevermind. shall go back to looking painstakingly for a picture to use as the template. and if the template turns out like shit... sorry. my image editing software is kinda lousy. shall go now. cookies...
May
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Friday, March 04, 2005
hey people! (may, maryann, lydia, that is.) thanks for including me in this grp blog...and this shall be my maiden posting here :) am having break now cos bio pract ended early - posting this in comp lab 6. thank you may for setting this blog up! now we can all keep in touch...
muscles are currently aching from the killer pt we had yesterday for fencing. bleagh. ah well. at least pe is cancelled this fri :) what do you guys want to get mavis for her bdae? must tell me k then we all share.
yiiwen
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Thursday, March 03, 2005
Lala. May and eli are being good kids and doing work while I'm sitting in the middle of the library and using the sch's com for the first time. Chem test today was terrible for me. I guess it's mostly cos I don't even understand most of stoich... so... Prepared to fail it. I just hope I don't fail too miserably and that somehow I manage to improve on my chem soon.
About an hour more to dreaded pt *groans. At least it's just gym. Apparently some sailors didn't make it through appeal... team's understandably very upset. This isn't good. heh but just hope for the best. Hope we can start real training soon. We need to if we want to be ready by july, you know. Oh well. nothing I can do about all those complicated admin stuff.
Heh. shall go off now. cya peeps arnd :)
Slug
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Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Hey! See that maryann and lydia have already posted, the supposedly s-l-o-w people. Well, so much has happened in the past few days and yes, some of us are sad but unfortunately we can't do anything about it, and yes, life goes on... I shall stop here, before I lapse back into my old whining self.
Yes, so heres this nice blog for all of us to blog on, at all times. Uh... I've a confession to make. Yiiwen still doesn't know the existance of this blog. Whooops. Yiiwen, don't kill me... I'm really really sorry, but you see, you don't have a phone, and after talking to you both on the phone and online yesterday morn, I thought you had enough of May for one day and wanted to inform you today. But, I forgot. Sorry... my memory is going... growing old. Sigh *shakes head*. Well anyway, I actually kopped the entire template and just stuck in the tag-board... so I didn't do much. Heh. But thanks for the compliment. *grins widely*
Ach, just finished fencing training and PT was like shit. -________-" I'm nearly dead now. Anyway, there this irritating lecture test tml. Good luck for it. yep. Shall end off here. Dinner time and I haven't eaten a proper meal since breakfast. Bye!
May
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Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Hey my dear friends,
Funny how the first 2 entries are by snail and slug eh? We're supposed to be the slow ones! Haha...
My first time using blogspot. It's much different from d-x... think i prefer d-x 's format.
This is crap i dunnoe what to write about. I could choose to write an entry merely to say hi and introduce myself or I could choose to say what I really want to (but risk going into some issues which maybe are best left unsaid). I don't know. Just that I know some of us are bothered by the results and I wish I knew what to say or what to do to make you guys feel somewhat better. Maybe the best thing i can and should do is to just shut up... all I want to say is that I love you peeps a whole lot and I'll always be there if you need me. I'm only a phone call or a message away k? I pray hard that we all stay in rj together. as trite as this may sound, i guess we should give thanks in all things.... I doubt if I'm strong enough to always stay positive and trust wholeheartedly despite the circumstances, so perhaps this sounds really insincere... the truth is life scares me at times 'cos you never know, you could be just a turn away from some mishap that could possibly change everything you have ever known. And when something bad happens, what I feel and believe in in the good times, would that last in the bad? Yet as they say, to live in fear, is not to live at all, isn't it? heh. probably confusing u peepz with my ramblings... but i do mean what i say about giving thanks cause things could very well be worse than they are.
I hope I make at least a little sense in this whole paragraph of ramblings. Just ignore the whole thing if I don't. The bottomline is this: That I'll always be here for you for all times.
Love, Slug :)
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hi....
i thot i would see quite a few entries from u all already....but realised i'm be the first to post a note here....hmmm, our blog is kinda empty...very empty indeed...but nvm....it will be beta soon rite?
ok, this is just a little greeting note...thnx "computer wizard"...for putting up this blog...the pictures u "kopped" are not too bad too (:
tt's all for now....bye
~Maryann~
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