Midnight Cookies | For All Times

Friday, March 24, 2006

"And so it is.
Just like you said it would be."
Damien Rice's The Blower's Daughter

Common tests were bad for me. I really hope I pass.

Yesterday was a strange day. The usual stress before a paper but a lot worse this time and a strong temptation to just not go. But I did. And aft disastrous paper still had trg. We went through safety aspects and belaying techniques for this sat's high ropes thingy. was basically pretty sian. Physically there but mentally drifting. And so first there was the stress, then this empty feeling. aft dinner out with parents.. driving across BS bridge- the bridge in s'pre i really love 'cos on 1 side there's e city lights, yet on the other the natural and beautifully vast expansion of sea sea sea- and he starts talking about random stuff, basically abt the future... then he says that he thanks God for my brother and me. and i have this moment. Butterfly kisses (the song) comes to mind. i'm strangely touched and it's a feeling beyond words. i dont get it often but when i do i'm feeled with this sudden overwhelming feeling of gratitude for the things that i do have.

and so i thought a lot as i lay in bed last night, only sleeping at 2 plus. and tt was my hard-to-describe emotional day.

never been unloved

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hello. cts are finally over and that means only 1 thing: time for an outing! anyone has any ideas here? i'd like to reacquaint myself with the art of rollerblading. (: any suggestions pls throw. i'm itching to go out with you guys again aft so long.

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Tuesday, March 14, 2006

i've just realised tt we've never gone on a camp tgt before. (obs doesnt count cos we didnt know each other then) wouldnt it be nice to? just us and nature. what do you say to that? it'd certainly be cheaper than going on a holiday to europe tgt.

camps do have a way of making you remember them fondly. so far i dont recall any one during which i was utterly, completely, terribly miserable. even though most of them cant be called a walk in the park, they all uncannily create moments and events that remain unforgettable. especially the feeling of being among good friends who are there to take the crap and the fun with you, and the feeling of being reduced to an obedient kid, at the mercy of the camp masters. there's actually some form of pleasure in this. you're less self-conscious in a camp and can muster the courage and heck-care attitude to do silly things that you normally wouldnt do in the name of fun and games. and its these silly moments of wild abandon that you remember and cherish for a long time afterward.

camps are precious things to remember and hold dear.

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just returned from a one-night camp. it will be a memorable one. nostalgia is starting to sink in.

i think it just drew me closer to some pple. and i've seen so many wonders of the universe last evening/night. was at ecp for a bbq. i saw the round and dark orange sun setting, the bright and yellow full moon shrouded by cottony clouds and of course, several twinkling stars (or satellites?). i lay on the soft sand, looked up the soft blue sky and felt so much comfort for the endless blueness was like a huge protective piece of blanket. i tried to appreciate the swish-and-swash of the waves but it wasnt exactly that silent cos' there were pple arnd me laughing and talking...their company was nice thou. really love that night. its so nice to just lie on the sand and look up, perhaps at the same time, hoping u'll see a shooting star. the company of some gals was the highlight of everything, i must say.

its always this same feeling i experience when i return from some camps or other long activities.
anyway, all the fun races/treasure hunt have ended and i'm back to reality. lotsa hw for me to do and to the other midnightcookiers, all the best with your CTs prep.

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Sunday, March 12, 2006

I'm still on a high from yesterday's competition, but this isn't what I'm here to talk about.

You know, its probably good to be worrying about all this keeping in touch stuff now. And to talk about it.

I've wondered if its just all going to end too. All the friendships that you make...are they going to be short-lived? I don't want them to be. I know I probably won't lose you guys. But what about the rest? Wouldn't you one day look back and think to yourself, hey, what happened to whoever and whoever? And you wonder what they're doing now, and how come your friendship couldn't be sustained.

Maybe my friend is right -- sometimes you're just too embarrassed to ask about keeping in touch. Maybe you want to, but you're afraid the other party isn't willing. Maybe you're afraid you'll be intruding. Maybe you don't know if the other person feels the same way as you do.

Thats why its good to voice out your thoughts (fears?)? And make pacts.

Is that juvenile of us?

It isn't going to be easy, but I don't want to live life with any regrets. Maybe that's just too sentimental, but hey, friendship IS important.

Please make the effort. I know I will.

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Tuesday, March 07, 2006

did sth special today, for the first time in my life! made a pact with sb to meet in 10 years time...somewhere in school. though the actual venue and time hasnt been confirmed, i'm determined to mark down the date and remember it!!! she says i'll most prob forget all abt it in TEN years time when we are 28 yrs old...but i dont think so. if i dont turn up, it'd be becos i'm not sure if she will ...and then i'll hesitate to show up...i'd most prob think she has forgotten too and not turn up in the end. but lets not let that happen!

i think its sth fun to try out :) but with u girls here, i dont think there is a need to...cos we'd still keep in touch RIGHT? such meetings are only special if we dont get to see (keep in touch with) the person for like 5 or 10 years and then see her again. but of course, there were qns like...would u be in spore then? and i jokingly told her maybe she'll become the president and be too busy to do such silly things. heehee (but in ten years time, we are only 28..ONLY 28 :P)

this idea dawned on us when i was flipping through my school's diary and saw this interesting page that suggests we write a letter... seal it safely in an envelope and on it, write "do not open till... (100 years later)". then hide that letter in a special corner so that pple wont be able to find it. you can write stuff like what u think the world is gonna be like a century later or write down useful quotes from the present which u think pple in the future will find interesting :)

yay! tt's just some food for thought and some crazy things to try when u are free! let's write our letters and hide them somewhere k?

P.S: talking abt keeping in touch and making such pacts, doesnt the thought of losing touch with some pple once we leave sch make u feel sad? its quite sad to know tt some pple will only be passersby in your life's journey, isnt it? you may not want to lose touch with them but sometimes we cant help it but just see them come and go. and all we have left are memories to keep. these are pple whom arent close to me but will still leave their little faint footsteps behind.

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Sunday, March 05, 2006

perhaps the best feeling in the world is satisfaction, to have worked hard for something and then to harvest the results. i certainly felt proud when the fun activity went well yesterday and im sure my fellow planner is happy too! (right?)

it was more than what i'd hoped for. and yet, even as we congratulate ourselves on one job well done, i wonder how long the momentum of this one will last. successful events can spur you on to continue with the task as enthusiastically as you can in the long term, but that's a largely optimistic view. more often than not the initial enthusiasm and excitement dies down and you're back to square one. it has been disappointing to experience this again and again, being let down by yourself and others repeatedly. long-term effort by everybody really ain't easy to maintain.

will all this end so-so, or continue flourishing? do i dare hope.

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