Midnight Cookies | For All Times

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Each day is so unpredictable. We step out of our house knowing that theres this possibility that we'll never return again. I know this sounds morbid. But its true. *shrugs*

My mother's friend lost her brother one day out of the blue. He was exercising, and died of cardiac arrest. And he left behind a young child. And you feel sorry for these children. They lose a parent when they're so young. And they don't understand the loss. Even 12 is too young a age to fully grasp it. Actually a loss is a loss, no matter how early in life the loss occurs.

I feel blessed everyday, just to return to my home.

May

x one of us ate a cookie*
(0) comments

x midnight cookies x

as the world falls down, the trick is to keep breathing

slug

x one of us ate a cookie*
(0) comments

x midnight cookies x

Friday, May 27, 2005

i really appreciate tonight. just seeing some old friends and having dinner together at j8 cafe cartel was nice. "The best antiques are old friends". Thankew to u all.
maryann

x one of us ate a cookie*
(0) comments

x midnight cookies x

Thursday, May 26, 2005

I went out with my Grandma and my little cousin yesterday and that's my blessing for the week. My Grandma, my mum's mum, is my only living grandparent now. Although I'm not very close to her 'cos she mostly speaks in dialect and I don't see her that often, I love her dearly. She didn't receive much education, as was the case with girls in traditional Chinese families in those days. I see how such a lack of opportunities has deprived her of many, many material pleasures in life. How it's so much harder for her to converse with people in every day life. I see that and I understand how precious opportunities are. I see that and I wish she had an easier, more comfortable life. I see that and I admire and respect all the strength it takes to live the life she led in the past, and the one she continues to live on today. I love my ah ma.

My little cousin is an adorable 5yr old girl. She lost her mum to cancer. Many people think she's too young to really understand and I guess she is... But I know that one day, maybe soon, she'll realise what she doesn't have. She's surrounded by love still though. So much of it from relatives who truly care. Yet I think it's difficult to grow up like that 'cos there's simply no replacement. I'm sad thinking about such situations but she's growing up fine. I wish I could be a better cousin to her though.

I feel so blessed.

Slug

x one of us ate a cookie*
(0) comments

x midnight cookies x

Sunday, May 22, 2005

i agree with lyd. maybe if we all start counting our blessings we'll be reminded of all the things we have to be grateful for. and then maybe we'll all start feeling a little less miserable each week.

okay so my blessing of the week is:
an rjc girl i don't know woke me up on the train on friday when i nearly missed the Bishan stop.

strangers can be kind too.

yii wen

x one of us ate a cookie*
(0) comments

x midnight cookies x

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

I'm glad all of you had fun. I admit, I was kind of worried that dinner would be kind of awkward too, but in the end, I found it silly to have worried, because all of us had so much fun together during dinner, enjoying each other's company. Life passes by really quickly, doesn't it? Before we know it, we'll all be 18. And ten years down the road, we'll have already established our career and whatnot. I'm not in a hurry to grow up, but time doesn't stop for you. Yes, 17 seems really old. But we grow older each day. And learn new stuff. And find new stuff to be grateful for.

Heres a big thank you to all my friends! I'm really grateful to god for giving me such wonderful friends in life. Each and everyone of you played a part in making Saturday a success! No one can take your places! I really appreciate what all of you have done for me. Thanks again.

may

x one of us ate a cookie*
(0) comments

x midnight cookies x

Monday, May 16, 2005

Hey,
Thanks for the lovely dinner, not to mention companionship, on Saturday night. I'm glad you had a good time, May! In about 2hours, you'll be 17!!! Join the club man. 17 is actually quite a nice age to be. Haha, I'm not in a hurry to turn 18... seems so grown-up.

I realise that we would all be a lot happier if we understood that there's so much to be grateful for. I guess I have to say I"m disappointed at not getting what I wanted and knowing the reasons... it's just so unreasonable that it's maddening. BUT I suppose this is the kind of time when I should think about all the other blessings and opportunities I've been given. And if I do attempt to count them, they are really really numerous. Uncountable, you could say. SO, i'll like to suggest that every once a week, perhaps we could include an entry on someone, something in our lives that we can be thankful for. I'm sure if we search, even the bad weeks do have moments we can be grateful for, right? May did say that this can get depressing. So why don't we spend some time giving thanks as well? Finding for things to give thanks for makes us more appreciative of every thing we have. Haha, of course if a week's too regular then it's up to you la. The idea is to make us more grateful... it's isn't a duty or anything. What do you people think?

I'm thankful for my friends. For the good times and the bad times, we're in the same boat.

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY, MAY!

this time what I want is you
there is no one else
who can take your place
this time you burn me with your eyes
you see past all the lies
you take it all away
I've seen it all
and it's never enough
it keeps leaving me
needing you

take me away
take me away
I've got nothing left to say
just take me away

I try to make my way to you
but still I feel so lost
I don't know what else I can do
I've seen it all
and it's never enough
it keeps leaving me
needing you
take me away
take me away

I've got nothing left to say
just take me away
don't give up on me
yet don't forget who I am
I know I'm not there yet
but don't let me stay here alone

this time what I want is you
there is no one else who can take your place
I've seen enough
and it's never enough
it keeps leaving me needing you

take me away
take me away
I've got nothing left to say
just take me away
take me away
take me away
I've got nothing left to say
just take me away

-Take Me Away, Lifehouse

Slug

x one of us ate a cookie*
(0) comments

x midnight cookies x

saturday night out at goodwood park rocked!

loved the 101 dishes that we got to devour, i spent a very enjoyable 3 hours in the coffee lounge. it was more the company than the food though. i haven't had a proper gathering with all my 409 friends in a long time and had forgotten what it feels like to talk freely in the presence of dear friends that you feel so comfortable with.

i admit that before the party, i was actually a little skeptical about how it would be like to get together with people you haven't talked to in a long time. would it be one of those horrible conversations with awkward pauses where we all struggle to think of things to say to plug all the gaps? would it have ended in the sad conclusion that our riendship has already dropped irreversibly from 'dear friends' to merely 'aquaintances'?

but luckily i was just being silly and worrying unnecessarily.
good food + dear friends + great conversation = a very happy yii wen :)

thank you may for such an enjoyable time and happy 17th bdae!
in answer to your long ago qn, saturday was the last time i felt really happy. :)

looking forward to the next time,
yii wen

x one of us ate a cookie*
(0) comments

x midnight cookies x

Saturday, May 14, 2005

hihi,
had such a nice dinner tonight, thankew may! it's not just the good food tt made my dinner so nice...its the meeting with some of my dearest frens that made tonight special.
hope we'll keep in touch. will see u all soon...(for bridge session and perhaps movie?) and early happy b'dae to may...u'll be seventeen soon...SEVENTEEN. haha.
lurve, maryann

x one of us ate a cookie*
(0) comments

x midnight cookies x

Perhaps its really hard to express whats deep down inside by merely using words. Maybe there are some things that words cannot convey. Everyone wants a best friend. But i guess its really hard to achieve that. I've never really had one anyway.

Everyones been so busy lately. Theres just so much to do. Sometimes do you wonder, am I really happy with what I'm doing? Is this what I really want? And the part about feeling happy or sad is true. You get really high or depressed, and you've no idea what put you into that mood. Its just so unpredictable. I haven't talked to so many people properly for a long time.

may

x one of us ate a cookie*
(0) comments

x midnight cookies x

Sunday, May 08, 2005

You're making a lot of sense these days, snail ;). Haha but seriously, you're right. If we don't even understand our own feelings, it's so difficult to actually articulate them. I have that problem... maybe we all do. The only best friend I had was in primary school. I missed her terribly when we went on to secondary school. We still keep in contact but with her overseas, we've understandably drifted. I no longer have a sole bestfriend and I'm perfectly alright with that.As I get older, I'm realising that it's near impossible for most to meet the demands of a bestfriend.But I do miss the feeling of having a soulmate in a way.

Your departure teaches me once again to be thankful and to treasure. I can't explain why such things happen. I don't know why they do. It reminds people like me how much we have to learn, how far away we are from where we want to be.

slug

x one of us ate a cookie*
(0) comments

x midnight cookies x

Friday, May 06, 2005

I know what you mean. At times, you just feel so alone in the world. Like, no one understands you, although its probably stupid for me to feel that way, since I don't even understand myself. And its not only me. And yes, I remeber that poem. I guess its true in a way. talking is kinda hard for me. i find it very hard to express correctly what i really feel. and somehow, it comes out all wrong and jumbled up, with only a hint of what i was really trying to say in it. and then i get so frustrated, because its like i can't express it. shrugs.

I really want to know whats wrong with you, because I'm your friend. Its not an obligation. Its because I care.

may

x one of us ate a cookie*
(0) comments

x midnight cookies x

that was another thot-triggering note. and i wonder who the author is.
we might sometimes feel that there is nobody in the world we can share all our thoughts and feelings with...be totally frank with...is that because we arent even sure of our own thoughts? or that we dont wanna share?
"you can never really communicate what you feel inside you"...i dont think we can, not to anyone else if we cannot even understand ourselves.
sigh...sometimes we might not understand our behaviour. yea, we might be sad and dont know wat there is to be sad about. or we might be so crazily happy we wonder why we are so happy.
i'm not used to blogging deep thots here...never. but the notes posted here always set me thinking, sometimes puzzling me too. it's hard to find pple you can talk to about such stuff, and i have learnt that blogging can be quite useful for x-change of such personal ideas, thou there are definitely limintations.

anyway, remember this poem?

Some people talk and talk
and never say a thing.
Some people look at you
and birds begin to sing.
Some people laugh and laugh
and yet you want to cry.
Some people touch your hand
and music fills the sky.

i first saw it in yushan's notebk, and thot it was quite nice.

k, take care.
yr friend always,
maryann

x one of us ate a cookie*
(0) comments

x midnight cookies x

today was supposed to be fun. i mean, it's a friday and there was the coffee bean thing and all, but i felt inexplicably, ridiculously sad. the weirdest thing was that i don't even know what there was to be sad about.
everyone was chattering away happily at coffee bean. somehow, i just had this feeling that there seems to be no one in the entire world that you can share all your thoughts and feelings with. not your family members, nor your best friends. you can never really fully communicate what you feel inside of you, somehow, it's just something that you are unable to say. it gets mangled on the way to your mouth and what comes out is some artificial musing about life. how is it that one can be surrounded by good friends, and yet feel so lonely and distant in this world sometimes? you wonder if they really want to know what's happening with you, or are they just obliged to do their duties as friends?
i've never had a best friend.

x one of us ate a cookie*
(0) comments

x midnight cookies x

Thursday, May 05, 2005

We've all been so busy lately that we've not spoken to so each other and so many other people for so long. And I guess there isn't much to blog about here because all of us are feeling so tired and stuff.

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: 'What! You, too? Thought I was the only one.'
Thats true. it sort of makes you feel better to know that theres actually someone in the same prediacament as you. and you can gripe about it together. it sort of makes you know that you're not alone in the world. haha.

Lyd's late.

may

x one of us ate a cookie*
(0) comments

x midnight cookies x