Midnight Cookies | For All Times

Sunday, February 26, 2006

We try out things in life.

Only to find out that half the time, they just don't suit us.

And on and on we go, just making these mistakes. Testing. One after the other. At the end of the day, do we find something we really like? Do we find that something out there that's ours?

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Saturday, February 18, 2006

"Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way.
Why do we keep banging our heads against the wall?
Because, oh, it feels so good when we stop..."

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Wednesday, February 15, 2006

hey girls,
nothing beats ending this day with dinner with 409ners.
am too tired to blog now but will do so properly again :)
thankew for the nice night. am rather amused with the conversation topics and how it was focused on GiRls' TaLk (to put it in a very nice way :P) haha stay that way pple!
love,
the one who looks weird with those huge yellow footprint earrings.

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Sunday, February 12, 2006

hey

i share the EXACT same sentiments. i totally agree with your second para. it was as though you were writing out all my thoughts for me.

Many a time in life, when I'm just at that point of giving up, something happens. Something that sparks off a new motivation for it. Something that changes your attitude towards it. That makes you continue with it with renewed vigour. How long that'll last, well, it depends. But the point is that something happens.

quite a few things happened over the past few days for me. actually not too many, just 2 things-my most DoWn moment, the point of utter disappointment and sadness and mental exhaustion,and my happiest moment after what has been happening so far; after all the questions i've asked myself about what i've been doing; after all the times i felt like giving up; after all the times i felt the need to reorganise my life and priorities. its funny how i'm so affected by somethings these days. it's crazy but i cant help but feel affected by what would have never influence me that much.

perhaps some time back, like a few days or weeks back, i'd agree with u on the part where we cant get back to that initial level of enthusiasm. someone once said that INTEREST dies, PASSION never. mine would seem more than just mere interest but less than that of passion.

I felt very tired. Had too many unanswered questions. And it was worse when u feel that THEY dont understand.

Terminal Velocity.
The parachute accelerates.
But comes to a point of zero acceleration.
and its so depressing when it starts levelling off, or deterioriates.

Yet, i've found new hope. it may be sth insignificant in the eyes of others, but it means alot to me. alot. i feel like my enthusiasm has rekindled, it's even boosted.
Quote frm u: "That makes you continue with it with renewed vigour. How long that'll last, well, it depends. But the point is that something happens." I dont know if it will last. or isit just the start of another bolt of enthusiasm that will eventually fade away. only circumstances and time will tell.

Priorities shift. sometimes i think i'm gg the wrong way. right now, i just cant stop. i must sound like i'm crazy but i'm looking forward to gg to school for a particular reason. its a long day tmr, my most hated Monday. yet i'm looking forward to that lil sth.

you dont have to apologise for posting your depressing note here. cos it helps to tell that we're not the only ones feeling what we're feeling at times.
Hang in there.

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Saturday, February 11, 2006

The Acommodador. The point of giving up. That was my nick some time ago.

Many a time in life, when I'm just at that point of giving up, something happens. Something that sparks off a new motivation for it. Something that changes your attitude towards it. That makes you continue with it with renewed vigour. How long that'll last, well, it depends. But the point is that something happens.

Perhaps thats why as people we're always so fickle.

And even though we continue with whatever we wanted to give up, somehow we never fully forget what made us want to give up in the first place. I'm not saying it happens all the time, but to me, most of the time, (I say MOST) its hard to go back to your original level of enthusiasm. Something has just spoilt it for you.

Its just like me and fencing. Once I lost heart, I never got back to loving it like I did when I started. Its more of an obligation to myself. One I've set myself upon fufiling. One that has little joy left for me in it. But strangely, theres still an element of happiness I can derive from it. I don't understand either.

I'm sorry for being depressing.

Theres just so much to do.

I feel like I need dinner with you guys next week.

I don't know anymore.

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met some kids at the day care centre today. they were much more active than i expected.

i hope to be able to really spend quality time with them but dont u ever think of what will happen when u have to leave someday? do u ever get worried of being too emotionally attached? becos i've only met them for barely 2 hours today and i'm already worrying a lil. maybe not so much of worrying but thinking abt it. i dont even know if i'll see them tt often.

anway, i'm surprised and kinda touched when seeing how the adults there do some things so seriously. they were having this "mini-comp" to see which child (out of the 4 kids) could tell the best story or whose art work was the best. and i saw the two teachers/mentors discussing very seriously over the results (kind of serious to me...for an unofficial comp like tt). and after that they announced the results and awarded the kids with stickers/jewel box etc. seeing the kids jump with joy over their simple gifts make me understand the need to take even their lil mini-contest seriously.

and i'm impressed by the learning spirit of kenneth. he was determined to pronounce the name of this dinosaur. it was a long and complex word and even after i tried reading it out several times, he cldnt remember it. i thot its alright...that name is too diff to read (its so long, i cant even remember it) but he kept asking me over and and over again...tt's my good student :P

but other than reading time today, i found myself standing arnd rather uselessly. the adults are really good at playing with the kids... i should learn "scissors pepper spoon" too :P

tt's all for now.
snail.

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Friday, February 10, 2006

this and next wk is going to be really busy for me and may. what with competitions and hw due and cip stuff and gp essay test. haha but i know i'll live through it. (:

just thought i'd share abt my mentoring exp. it was the first actual mentoring session on thurs and for once when we were early the kids were late. then when they came the boys were exremely noisy and all. but actually they're very willing to learn, though a little slow.

jun yan is very smart and catches things quite fast. alson is patient (esp when i accidentally taught him the wrong thing). i'm also surprised at their tenacity. when i was half dead frm coaching them and asked if they wanted a break, they all said no, please continue. like wow. how many kids wld willingly ask for more tuition and focus? but the bad thing is i don't really know when they understand and when they don't cos when i ask them they say yes, yet i have a sneaking suspicion tt they don't get the big picture.

and although the boys are rowdy they actually know how to zuo4 ren2. we offered to stay back till 7 to finish their ws with them, but they said it's ok you guys go home first quite late alr. (: so sweet.

okay anw i'm quite encouraged by their attitude overall and there's def potential here!

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Saturday, February 04, 2006

It feels so weird to be back again after so long. Maybe because I feel like I've somehow neglected this place in one way or another. I apologise.

I realised chinese new year is an awful time to fall sick. Everyone keeps offering you food and you feel somehow compelled to accept it although you really can't eat it (sore throat and all) because you don't want to feel bad.
And plans to catch up on my homework fell through because when I wasn't out doing my "duty" visiting, I was at home watching some korean drama which though far-fetched plot and all, was quite nice because it was so stupid you just laugh yourself silly over it.

It struck me the other day that theres no such thing as a perfectly ordinary person. I think everyone has some thing or the other that is unique, that no one else has. Perhaps I'm wrong, but really, don't you think theres just that something that defines us, be it our character or personality. Our backgrouds, circumstances, decisions. I think we see ourselves as boring individuals with seemingly ordinary lives. But then, as blogs have proven, perhaps we don't lead such boring lives after all? I dont' know. I'm getting quite confused here.

Aren't all of us ambitious? I think I am.

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