Friday, March 24, 2006

"And so it is.
Just like you said it would be."
Damien Rice's The Blower's Daughter

Common tests were bad for me. I really hope I pass.

Yesterday was a strange day. The usual stress before a paper but a lot worse this time and a strong temptation to just not go. But I did. And aft disastrous paper still had trg. We went through safety aspects and belaying techniques for this sat's high ropes thingy. was basically pretty sian. Physically there but mentally drifting. And so first there was the stress, then this empty feeling. aft dinner out with parents.. driving across BS bridge- the bridge in s'pre i really love 'cos on 1 side there's e city lights, yet on the other the natural and beautifully vast expansion of sea sea sea- and he starts talking about random stuff, basically abt the future... then he says that he thanks God for my brother and me. and i have this moment. Butterfly kisses (the song) comes to mind. i'm strangely touched and it's a feeling beyond words. i dont get it often but when i do i'm feeled with this sudden overwhelming feeling of gratitude for the things that i do have.

and so i thought a lot as i lay in bed last night, only sleeping at 2 plus. and tt was my hard-to-describe emotional day.

never been unloved